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I will not be another female soldier who was killed during a military operation. Not me

We have been in the shelter for 3 hours. After the first hour the door was opened for a minute…

I will not be another female soldier who was killed during a military operation. Not me

We have been in the shelter for 3 hours.

After the first hour the door was opened for a minute so we could get some fresh air. Since then it has been closed.

Someone called our commander at the operations room and told her terrorists got into the base. Ever since, we’ve been hearing shootings, helicopters, battle tanks. The door lock is not working so we take shifts holding the door closed.

I don’t feel thirsty. I just need some fresh air.

In a minute girls will start to faint. They said someone has been kidnapped.

Maybe the girls broke the screens?

“Red Alert” siren.

They can not hold a 5 hour shift! I wish I could run into my room, take a bullet-proof vest and a helmet and replace them.

My neck cannot hold my head.

Everyone is praying: SHMA ISRAEL ADONAI ALOHEINO ADONAI EHAD.

What’s the meaning of holding the door closed? If there are terrorists in our military base – we do not have the strength to resist.

Breath.

It’s Shabbat.

I can’t believe everything around us is burning and we are stuck here. We are fighters but at this very moment I feel like a chicken in a cage. After we get out of here the real panic will start. Waiting for updates about the kidnapped or the dead soldiers, praying this is not someone from my school or from the scouts.

I AM NOT GOING TO FAINT!

I want this to be over.

Shootings again.

They are fighting outside and I sit on the floor.

Now I stand against the door.

I hear a bomb. I guess it’s a tank. Are they in the woods near us?

SHMA ISRAEL ADONAI ALOHEINO ADONAI EHAD!

4 hours. 35 kidnapped people. 2 soldiers from Erez.

We are panicking. Keep going. Breath. Hold on. We have no air.

5 hours.

2 girls fainted. The others are trying to wave with a piece of carbords they found on the floor.

I am trying to concentrate on a silly game on my phone so I won’t cry.

I spoke to my parents. I have a headache. I shouldn’t look at the other girls here in the room.

I survived so far, I will survive this.

One of the girls threw up. They opened the door for a moment just for air. I feel like a rat. I want to get out of here. We will get through it. It will be just another story to tell. That’s it. Hold on. I will not be another female soldier who was killed during a military operation. Not me. Calm down. Breathe. I beg myself. The door is open for a few minutes.

I got a few messages. I managed to reply. 6 hours.

You are strong. Everything is going to be alright.

My head is so heavy.

As long as I see a light coming through the door it means air is coming through.

There is urine all over the floor.

I wonder how this is going to affect my mental health. Mindfuck.

7 Hours.

“Red Alert” siren.

Bombs.

I think I am losing my mind.

Someone opened a hotspot. I updated my family that I am alive.

Now back to sitting on the floor.

8 hours.

I hear shootings and bombs outside. I don’t think we are going to get out soon.

I am dehydrated. Zikim soldiers are shooting the terrorists in this base. Good news I guess.

I don’t know how long we can survive here.

I feel like this is going to end soon, But I don’t know what kind of ending is waiting for me.

9 hours.

I am so so hot. I don’t want to die here. I am not ok. We need help.

Armed forces should come soon. Please make them hurry up.

Bombs outside. I feel so weak. I am not going to faint. “Red Alert” siren.

I know someone is trying to save us. The sounds of the bombs are so loud.

DO NOT GIVE UP.

Something is going to happen. The forces are on their way.

10 Hours.

They are still on their way. What is taking so long?!

Someone else is fainting. I can’t take it anymore.

They should come now. Escort us to our rooms to take clean uniforms and then to the operations room for a shift. Hold on. You can do it.

11 Hours.

We are still waiting. They say they are scanning the military base and they will let us out.

I am not sure all of us will survive by the time they are here.

They are here, 2 of us need to see a doctor.

A is a 19 year old border observant soldier who survived the attack in southern Israel.